Triple The Dad

The holidays are over.  It only seems like life is over. There is a solid three month period where holidays of various degrees are hitting you one-two-three style.  You have Halloween, which takes some of the sting out of the cooling temperatures and the disappearance of summer.  You have Thanksgiving, with rare foods and the promise of Christmas.  Then you have a month of prepping and joy for Christmas.  You are so busy, you hardly notice how cold it has gotten.  And this year it got pretty darn cold.  And then Christmas itself.  My wife and I take a week off between Christmas and New Years, so we have that.  Its a period so full of life.  And then the aforementioned NYE - when the cold decided to take it up a notch. With triplets, its a little like being shot out of a cannon and taking three months to land. But when you land, you land firmly in what I call the Dark Months. There are no more holidays.  Yes, I realize ML...

Milestones. Every parent worries about them. Is my kids learning to crawl at the right time; are they walking at the right time; talking at the proper time; learning to use toys at the right times; can they point at the right times. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the milestones that save a triplet parent. Save us time; save our lives; save our sanity. These are the ones that sneak by quietly during the maelstrom that is daily life. They are treated largely without fanfare from the books and experts, but probably matter more to a triplet parent's every day life than any of those I named above. Because pretty much every  kid learns to walk. Some take a little longer than others, but absent some real issue, they all do it. Whether they do it today, or tomorrow, or next week, well, it seems  super important - especially at the time - but it really isn't. Walking just introduces a new level of difficulty to your life and enhances all the dangers in the c...

You have days like this one , and it seems like, really seems like, you aren't going to do anything correct. You just aren't. And then you have a day where they play a game like the one shown in the picture. Some kind of amalgam between the game of checkers I had just shown them how to play and the game of chess they know I love. And to be honest, four has been pretty awesome. I was thinking about just how awesome as I scrolled through Facebook posts from other triplet Dads who have young ones and were, simply put, overwhelmed. For a sex that prides itself on motion and doing and energy and work, there were a lot of Dads who simply seemed at their breaking point in February. And that isn't to judge; handling triplets is hard. Damn hard. And yes, I once said about how three was the perfect age.  I  also once wrote "Preschool Not For Me School."   What do I know? I hadn't had four year olds yet. Kids are like what I imagine it was like when the first h...

Recently I was featured as a “Brilliant Dad” over at diydaddyblog.com . That isn’t to brag. I think the bar for parenting is pretty low.   Despite this, I don’t feel very brilliant most days.  That is the truth. I see so many posts on twitter and on blogs about parenting by “instinct.”  But what if my instincts are all wrong? As I said in my Brilliant Dad feature, I’m not sure I’m constructed to really parent well. I’m a bit of a loner; I’m a bit introverted; I need alone time to “recharge,” and without it I can be short tempered. I’m frustrated when people can’t follow directions. None of these are great qualities to have as a parent.  That last one is pretty much the definition of four year olds and nothing will make you butt heads with a four-year old faster than acting  like a four-year old. And so my instinct is to do it myself; at least when I’m not sighing and expressing anger. Because I need that recharge time, I find myself strugg...

I was part of a discussion on FB the other day with fellow triplet Dads about divorce.  One of the Dads is headed that way, another is already well down the road, and of course some of our number is already past that point. One of the posters said that the divorce rate for parents of multiples is something on the order of 80 percent.  Could 8-in-10 marriages involving multiples really end in divorce?  The number seems simultaneously impossibly high and entirely legitimate. Eight out of ten. My wife is awesome beyond belief and she deserves the bulk of the credit for keeping this circus running and the lions from eating the trainers (it isn't easy being married to a Super Hero, but that is a post for another time).  Having said that, it hasn't always been easy, on her or me.  During those times, an 80 percent divorce rate seems, well, if not personally relatable, at least a completely reasonable number.  Every kid stresses a marriage and every marria...

We had trouble conceiving so we were late to game of having children.  While everyone around us was getting pregnant and rearranging their lives for kids, we trudged the miserable course of trying and failing, testing and failing, anticipation and disappointment. Luckily, we succeeded, in a big way, in time for this period in our lives not to pass us by. And we did it early enough that lots of our friends are having a second go around of it.  In fact, one of our triplet friends is due in December.  A friend of mine from a long-ago job is also pregnant and due soon. I can only think one thing: What are those people thinking? Sure, we had difficulties conceiving that probably colored the whole process for us.  And sure, having triplets probably gives us a different spin on what babies are like than most. To wit: When we are out, people ask me how we do it all the time. How do we do it; how do we handle it; can we handle it; it sure must be hard.  S...

If you are a parent, or on the internet in anyway, really, I’m sure you seen those listicles. Articles/lists of things.  In honor of the many websites and listicles covering similar topics, I’ve decided to take a crack at the genre myself. Every single one of these is true.  Every. Single. One. So without further ado… Why is one of my triplets crying? 01) My wife carried him up 2 of the 13 steps 02) He only managed to hook one of his feet onto the crib before being placed in said crib 03) I mentioned peanut butter as a food option 04) I responded by telling him he didn’t have to have peanut butter 05) I may have mentioned food 06) I offered him a hug 07) I didn’t understand a word that sounded a lot like hybgibberit 08) I gave him the exact lollipop he asked for 09) "Over The Rainbow" is being sung by Izreal, not Dorothy 10) I put raisins on his plate and not his hi-chair tray

My wife pointed out that my previous post about fearing my kids probably wasn’t accurate.  I think she is correct.  Don’t go back and read it.  It wasn’t my best work.  Most of the best stuff made its way here. I don’t really fear my kids.  Fear isn’t the proper word. When I’ve been up late the night before and work has kicked my butt and my eyes are struggling to stay open and I’m still staring at 3 or 4 hours of 3-against-1 odds it isn’t fear I’m feeling.  Instead it’s a sense of just how daunting the task ahead is. Daunting. That sums it up. The odds are bad enough.  As the first sonogram revealed one, and maybe 2, embryos, my wife turned to me and asked: “are you OK with that, honey?”  I said “yeah, I just don’t want to be outnumbered.  Man-to-man coverage is fine, I just don’t want to play zone.” Famous last words and all because of course a week later we learned that one grainy black-and-white image migh...

Football training camps began recently, the baseball All-Star game came and went and the second “half” of that season got underway.  It all led to a post last week about how parenting triplets is a lot like being a pitcher or hitter.  You are constantly using an informed guess to figure out to avoid that walk-off homerun.  Keep them off balance and you can succeed.  Go to far afield from a strength however, and you can quickly walk the bases full on four bad pitches. That was the first 18 months or so.  Those are your playing days.  The game and the day is yours.  Once a minor leaguer, you bask in the glow of the major league role of Daddy.  You’ve been called up to the big game.  This is what you’ve waited and prayed and practiced for; especially when you’ve waited three years, like we did. It all goes by so fast.  One day you are hitting simple bottle requests out of the park, and the next thing you know you are swinging at a...

The triplets and I were watching baseball the other day.  It was a Phillies-Nationals game.  I’m a big Nationals fan.  It’s a long story for another time, but there you have it.    The pitcher was shaking off one pitch request from the catcher after another.  One of the announcers discussed the finer skills of hitting and pitching: To succeed, the hitter pretty much has to guess correctly at what pitch the pitcher will throw and where.  Meanwhile, the pitcher is trying to make a combination of his best pitch to the hitter’s weakest area of the strike zone, all while mixing it up enough that the hitter doesn’t see it coming. As I sat there shaking off requests from my kids – no, we aren’t going outside; we are watching baseball – I got to thinking. Because just about the time I think I’ve figured these kids out well enough to strike through 3 hours while avoiding a grand tantrum the wind shifts towards the outfield.  Suddenly, what wou...

If you've never been to triplethedad before, or you don't know me IRL, let me introduce myself:  I'm a work-at-home Dad (WAHD) of 20-month-old triplets.  I'm sure you've already reacted in one (or maybe both) of two ways: 1) Triplets? Oh god.   2) I'd love to work at home and take care of my kids! I base the first on personal experience with people I meet.  The second I base on a mix of experience and the amount of advertisements I see offering Moms home-based jobs (most of those aren't real, FYI).  From those ads it appears working from home is a parents' dream.   You probably paint a great picture in your head of what it is like: Working from home, doting on your little ones, able to check in on them at a minute's notice.  At the first sign of a whimper you can rush to their rescue.  It must be great, right?  You could finally earn a much needed paycheck while also showering your child with all the time and attention yo...

Triplet tested; Triplet Dad approved Step 2 Choo Choo Kids Wagon We absolute love this one.  It is great for hauling our three around just about any space: malls, Target, flea market, farmer's markets.  You name it, this thing will go there. Unlike many strollers, and our triplet stroller in particular, the open air nature of this train gives riders nearly 360 degrees of viewability, allowing them to look around.  Our three prefer the less restrictive nature of the seat belt compared to the harnesses in strollers and the ability to look around. An unexpected and immensly useful aspect:  It has cup holders.  This is an awesome feature for those warm days or for snack holders.  And considering its length, its amazingly mobile.  You'll certainly get noticed. Pictured below is a three-unit Choo Choo, but you actually have to purchase an extension seat to get to three.  You can easily find two-unit Choo Choos available .  Price: $130 with...

Somehow – I’m guessing it has something to do with my own triplets – I missed the news that the heaviest triplets on record were born to a California mother in November 2012.  The California trio weighed in at 20 pounds, according to news reports .  The previous record: a hefty 18 pounds, 11 ounces. To give you an idea: my three went almost 36 weeks and weighed in at 12 pounds 5 ounces (4 pounds, 15 ounces; 4 pounds, 5 ounces; and 3 pounds, 1 ounce).  That’s a little south of 60 percent of the record. I didn’t see anything about bed rest for the mother or other complications, but I just can’t imagine. The mother conceived in a rare case of spontaneous triplets, the odds of which are about 1 in 8,000.  I’ve estimated the odds for the assisted-type triplet pregnancy at about 1 in 5,000.

Triplet tested; Triplet dad approved! Little Tykes Rocking Puppy As toys go, this one isn't educational, its all fun.  Having said that, it is all fun and an absolute winner.  In fact, our three little ones like it so much we offered it in response to a friend's inquiry about what gifts to give a young child.  There isn't much else to say.  Our kids love this it.  I do worry that they may one day flip it over backwards.  Despite my worries and with one possible exception that I was able to prevent it hasn't happened.  It retails on Amazon for $35, but my wife was able to find one at a consignment sale for $6.  Some of the best $6 we ever spent. Age: Up to 3 Weight: Up to 50 pounds

So last week I started in on the first 4 of the 8 common mistakes parents make.  As promised I’m back with the final four.  If you want background, check out last week’s story .  Otherwise, let’s get right to it: 5) Overscheduling your child.   I’m already seeing this creep in.  Honestly, I can see how parents quickly fall into this trap and not only aren’t sure how to extricate themselves from it, but don’t even realize they are stuck in it.  It starts with a pool membership, then a visit to a bounce house place that everyone agrees was enjoyable.  And then of course you want a trip to the zoo.  And a museum is a must.  And vacation, you just have to go to the beach – the kids need to see the sea.  And then there is music.  Music is important; everyone agrees.  But isn’t that a lot of seated activities?  We really need more active activities.  What about soccer?  Suddenly, an entire summer comes and...

Raising triplets is hard and scary.  Even to those with three or four children of their own. I get it.  Trust me, I do.  Frightening? Yes! If I didn’t, the 10 people who point it out to me on every single trip we take our triplets on would make sure I do.  We are either brave on the level of firefighters or strong on the level of WWE fighters. Those people are correct, of course.  Raising triplets is hard.  If it doesn’t seem that way to us we owe it partly to my wife’s superior organization talents and partly to the fact that this is just our life.  We don’t know anything else.  To us, having kids is raising triplets.  On a somewhat unrelated note, I was reading a story today about world population and the magical 2.1 birthrate required for stable populations.  Turns out large portions of the world fall below that line.  Some, like Sweden, go as low as 1.2. The author has two little ones of his own...

I haven’t posted in a while.  14 straight days of sick child will do that to you.  First my daughter comes down with a 105 degree fever in the middle of a hurricane.  She recovers only to see one of my sons fevered by an ear infection.  One day later my lone holdout succumbs to a stomach bug. Just prior to the great plaque I relived part of my childhood by watching Gremlins.  The movie ticks through the rules of owning a Mogwai.  Of course the characters pay no heed.  The movie moves through each consequence.  Meanwhile, it dawned on me:  triplets are a lot like having a Mogwai.  To wit: One moment you are celebrating a happy, warm, loving Christmas season.  Just you, your family, and the dog.  You receive an awesome gift.  In real life it’s a pregnancy after 3 years of trying.  In the less dramatic, movie version, it’s a Mogwai.  So far, so good. Pretty shortly thereafter everything comes apa...

Editor's note:  The following my twitter friend's account of her first time babysitting for brother's triplets: Five hours, three babies. It can’t be that hard, can it? That’s what I told myself the week before babysitting my six week old triplet niece and nephews. But, as the time grew near, the more frightened I was to care for that many newborns at the same time. I’m a seasoned babysitter. My first job, at the age of thirteen, was babysitting a newborn and a four year old five days a week. I briefly worked in a daycare during high school, and I have 18 and 16 year old daughters that I have somehow raised without scaring for life. All my previous experience is exactly why I enlisted the help of three others for this epic babysitting adventure! I learned that the key to caring for multiple babies is a well-kept schedule. Feedings and diaper changes can only be kept up with when written down. My sister-in-law neatly presented the newborn schedule of events in n...

Hey, head over to Ordinary Parent to check out this Dad's perspective on being a father to triplets!

As a follow-up to Monday's post I'm now going to discuss what probably makes you a better Dad than me.  Here goes: You probably have better foresight than I do.  I get myself into a lot of child-related problems simply because I don't look far into the future.  Not even "far," like an hour.  I sometimes end up with crying babies simply because I haven't thought far enough ahead to make bottles in advance, or to prep their highchairs for feeding time.  If it wasn't for the planning of my dear wife, the kids would probably be sitting in one of the two pieces of clothing (dirty, of course) we had for them crying while I frantically make a bottle that is probably 20 minutes overdue. You are probably manlier than I am, and that will do you well in some instances, especially with your sons.  I'm a lot a things; especially manly isn't one of them.  Most of the time I'm OK with that, as I said in Monday's post, I'm comfortable with who I am...