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Showing posts from July, 2015

Parenting Is Full Of Contradictions

I wrote last week about how the advice to "follow your intuition" is really bad advice. At least for a parent like me.  Pretty much every parenting decision requires me to do exactly the opposite of my intuition.  That got me thinking of how many contradictions are inherent in parenting.  Things we either wouldn't do for anyone else that we do for our kids, or things we want for our kids, but would never want our kids to do.

For instance, which would you prefer your child grow into as an adult:
A) A nice, anonymous, completely average rule-following adult.
B) A live-out-loud, noticed at first sight, rule breaking adult who overcomes barriers and creates something new and spectacular. I'm guessing most parents would choose outcome B every time.  But not much sound worse than trying to parent child B.  Pretty much no parent would choose a rule breaking, barrier busting child who ignores their parents' every command over a more docile one who listens and eats his ve…

Parenting: Against All Odds And Intuitions

When you read as many Mommy and Daddy blogs as I do, heck, if you are any kind of parent at all, you will inevitably come across some version of advice that goes like this: trust your intuition.

Like most Moms and Dads, I feel like I'm pretty good parent.  Lord knows I've set a low enough bar that I really, would, could, should be. It sure would be easier if there were Inside Outesque little people running around inside me ensuring I do it right.

Maybe I'm not.  But as I said, I like believe I am, even sans the little people

But you know who else thinks they are doing it right? These people who object to vaccines. These people who object to getting medical care for their kids. The people here.

I'm not saying these people are doing it wrong. Though the people here probably are. As near as I can tell, 99% percent of all deaths result from people following intuition.

Screw intuition.

I'm just not sure follow your intuition" advice amounts to anything more than a …

Kids And Guns: The 'No Gun' Challenge

I've had this post hanging around for a while. Its a touchy subject and it was, as I'll describe below, harder to undertake than I imagined. Anyway, with the recent events in Charleston I thought it might well be time to go on this journey. So here we are: a post about kids and guns.

You see, it all started when we went on a play date with friends of ours.  The family we were visiting has a new baby girl we will call Babette.  They also have an almost 4-year-old boy, who has since turned 4, who we can call Titan.

I got to talking with the Dad, and he mentioned how difficult it was to keep Titan from encountering guns in one form or another.  The conversation switched to a recent kids party in which the boys played with toy guns, as boys will do, by "shooting" each other. Titan didn't really know what to do with that and kind of floundered in the game.  Having never been exposed to that kind of play, Titan was like a giraffe in space.  Seeing this confusion, they …

Going Back To An Office

For more than four years I've had it pretty good; great even.  It was almost five years ago when my company decided we should all be home based employees.

We already worked from home two days a week, so it wasn't a titanic-hitting-an-iceberg change.  Still, I was anxious about the change.  Would I become a hermit?  How would I handle working at home everyday?  Would I miss the social interaction.  Would I miss a 5 mile commute that at times took 45 minutes.  Okay, so I could safely say I wouldn't miss that last part.

Still, it was a big change.

Little did I know, bigger changes were on the horizon.  Just a few months later I would change in my soon-to-be impossibly small car for an pickup truck. Despite wanting a pickup truck, the one I settled on seemed at the time impracticably oversized. We were firmly entrenched in fertility issues. There was a growing chance we weren't having kids at all.  And even when - if? - we finally had a child, why would I need an entire s…