Skip to main content

The Examples Parents Set

While the weather here in the Northeast might not be tipping you off, radio music and decorations and such might have given you the hint that we are fully engulfed in another Christmas season. As part of that, my wife and I are having our kids purchase gifts for other members of the family. So on a recent Christmas shopping trip my wife attempted to suss out what the kids might want to buy Daddy by asking them what Daddy likes.

They responded with "tea and football."
Why? Why do my kids think this about me?

Which is fair enough. I do drink tea pretty much every day and it is football season. But my interests are broad and varied. Broader and more varied than most, in my experience.

At first I laughed it off. Kids, amirite? You can go crazy reading the tea leaves behind a four-year old's thinking and logic.

But its been a week now and there the comment sits, crouched at the edge of my subconsciousness like some sort of demented Nightmare-Before-Christmas version of Elf on the Shelf. And its throwing sharp little pebbles at my actual consciousness.

Football and tea.

Is that really all my kids can come up with about me? Shouldn't they have a broader understanding of their Dad? Or is it me? Maybe I'm not setting a broad-enough example? What about my other interests? I do like other things. Like, um, reading, chess, a recent love of watches, long walks and ... Wait, this is starting to sound like a dating profile. Maybe if I provided more examples of what I liked my kids would branch out more themselves? Fortunately, or unfortunately, I'm not a big fan of pushing my interests onto my kids; what I call Live Like Daddy Syndrome.

If you'll let me whine for just a moment, its really hard to have interests - at least interests your kids can see - when you have triplets. A lot of my efforts and interests are hung up in time and triplet management. Those kids are my interests. Ok, /rant.

But take a look at that list: Chess. That is a bit much for a four-year old. Reading. Pretty much every word I read is at work, after they go to bed, or on a cereal box. Watches. Nothing more exciting to four-year olds than clothing and accessories. I'm that weird person who actually enjoys working out, but good luck trying to work out around four-year olds.

What do I do, because I'm not sure what I expect. I guess I'll try to direct my kids' play a little more than I do now. But what do I want the end result to be here? I'm not sure I have an answer for you. If you have an answer for me, pound away on the keys in the comments section.

In the end, I guess if my kids were going to have such a short lists of things that interest me, I would prefer them have answered: our family!

Comments

  1. I think as we get older, we tend to focus in on a few things...mostly because we just don't have TIME to do everything else. You think of me and what do you think? Books and tea, I'm guessing. Maybe writing and horses. But let's be honest, the only thing the kids would know about me is tea (and maybe that I know the names of the ponies from My Little Pony...).

    But I think you hit on the major point: parents have interests that happen when the kids aren't around (at least until their older). It ties into the joke about the father getting a tie every Christmas. Why? Because when we're under the age of 12, do we KNOW what our parents do for fun?

    Rather than then seeing what you enjoy, necessarily, as long as you're exposing them to things (games, sports, etc, etc) and seeing you relax with some fun time stuff when they are, I don't think it's a big issue--

    Although on that note, I do have to say, if you're reading a book on your tablet, your kids may not associate that with "reading a book" if they normally play games or watch videos on their tablets. So that's one way a cue may be taken away from them. A way to solve this, and maybe your larger problem, would be to discuss what you did today. The kids aren't likely going to care much, but if you follow up the question of "What did you do today, L?" with "Wow. Last night I read an exciting story in a book!" (Or some such. I say as I sit here, reading, writing and drinking tea...)

    (And apologies for being...5 weeks late.)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

NIGHTMARE: Three Kids; One Invite

Its a triplet parents worst nightmare, really. I only have triplets, so most of what I;m about to say about singletons is conjecture and assumption, but here goes: I imagine that when you have three kids of different ages its easy when only one of them is invited to a birthday party. Any younger child is probably interested in where an older sibling is going, but is easily refocused. Older children probably just don't care what a younger child is doing, but to the extent they are invested, I'd think its easy to explain to them. After all, they are probably in different schools, or at least different grades. They have different teachers, different classmates, and while they may share some friends, those are largely different as well. Not so with triplets When you have three kids all the same age they attend the same  school; often in the same class (as ours do). So when only one of them receives an invite, as our daughter did, its hard not  to feel slighted. After all, ...

Thoughts On Breastfeeding

I was going to post in this space about breastfeeding eventually.  It started when I joined Twitter recently as @triplethedad (follow me!) and started following a bunch of Mom and Dad types.  Although I previously experienced the ferver of the breastfeeding crowd, I was still taken aback by the militartism of some of them and the "us against them" attitude. I knew I would have to address it at some point, but honestly, as a Dad to formula fed triplets, I don't have a lot of experience or knowledge.  And further, while I'm not 100% comfortable around breastfeeding women, I have no problem with them/it and realize what they are doing is totally and completely natural.  So, between the lack of deep understanding and acceptance, I wasn't sure where to start.  What I did know was that I wanted to address the unnecassary ferver around the topic and the seeming war between formula and breast. Luckily, Jamie Lynn of Iamnotthebabysitter.com beat me to it in a post o...

Nature v. Nurture; Nature Wins Everytime

Many parents have probably looked beamingly at their children and thought “what a wonderful job I did.” At times, at least. But what about the bad seed? Are parents responsible for that one, as well? These questions come down to whether our children arise from “nature” or “nurture.” Is it the genes we give them at birth, or the jeans we wear when we play with them that molds them, so to speak. Most parents don’t get a good shot at any type of scientific look at this. Even if you have three kids, they are likely spaced out over various periods in life featuring different levels of income, stress and parental availability. If nothing else, life is different with one than three, meaning that first one probably received a different level of attention – at least at first. But I’m somewhat unique here: I have all 3 at once. Same circumstances; same income; same attention. Its that experience that leads me to the belief that its definitely nature and not nurture. DS1 is a laugh machin...