Skip to main content

My Boys Like Dolls; And That Is Ok

*This article originally appeared @ thebabyspot.ca

I had a Cabbage Patch doll as a child.  Go ahead and get a snicker in about that if you want.  Got that out of your system?  Ok.  Good.

Because for Easter, the bunny left one of my boys Magic Clip Dolls.  Not one, either, but 8 of them.  This wasn't some some strange experiment or a stunt to get a nice post for the blog; Rand asked for these for literally months.  Every trip to Target resulted in Rand telling us he wants Magic Clip Dolls, and which ones he wanted.  He would ask us at random times if he could have Magic Clip Dolls.  And at a recent birthday party he spent probably an hour in the basement playing with the two Magic Clip Dolls he found.

Pure Joy
What is a Dad to do?  Well, if you've posted in the past about why you gave up your opposition to your daughter wearing the color pink and why you think hating on pink may actually be doing more harm than good, you buy your boy the Magic Clip Dolls he wants.  Because denigrating things as too "girly" isn't only mean to boys, its mean to girls.  Every time we tell our boys they can't do something because its for girls, we are telling them that something is somehow inferior.

My wife and I aren't doing that.

I mean, check out the joy on his face in that picture above.  I'm not really sure I can explain our stance, or why we got our boy what is marketed as a girls toy, better than my wife.

As she said in a post on FB:
My SON fell in love with Magicclip dolls when he learned of them on YouTube.  it's all he asked for from the Easter Bunny and sure, we could have not gotten them and told him the Easter Bunny forgot or they are for girls or whatever.  But in our opinion, we then would have missed the joy you see.  Which is all that really matters to us.  If Sadie can play with trucks and transformers, why can't Rand play with dolls.
And that is pretty much that.  I was curious to see how Rand would react.  Would he love them as much as he thought?  Every single one of them are women/princesses; would he on some level realize they aren't marketed for boys?  Would he grow tired of them?

Nope.

He spent the entire day taking dresses on and off dolls, switching them up, and guarding his precious collection from the prying eyes and hands of his siblings.  Well, not so much his sister as Liam:

Dad look!  Rand shared with me!
Liam almost immediately wanted to play with the Clip Dolls.  Now, Liam got his own cool toys.  Just to show we aren't adverse to stereotypes - Liam got a fire dog from the show Paw Patrol that shoots plastic water balls from his outfit 

But Rand wanted his Magic Clip Dolls to himself.  Such is the life of a triplet that you often end up sharing your toys, even if they are "yours."  This presents an entire issue all of its own and another post for another time.  Suffice to say: we don't force our kids to share "their" toys with their siblings.  If they aren't using them others can play with them, but the toys that are theirs are theirs and they don't have to give the up - ever.

How did family react?  Well, we were kind of worried.  Who wouldn't be?  But everyone was supportive, or at the very least kept quiet about it.  The comments on my wife's FB post were all supportive and positive.  Which might be the first time in the history of social media that something even remotely controversial like this topic has resulted in an entirely supportive and positive response.


How far does all this go?  There is clearly a limit.  My wife pretty much refuses to paint the boys' nails, even though they sometimes ask when she paints hers and Sadie's nails.  I'm not wild about that position - I'd go ahead and paint them - but hey, I'm not the one who has to keep six little hands and thirty little painted fingers from spreading polish all over the house.  Your job, your call.

And I realize that eventually society will impose its will on my kids and my boys will no longer be OK playing with dolls; at least not in public or around their friends.  And while that isn't OK, I can rest easy knowing that when my kids grow up and have kids of their own, they will still have the lessons they learned from us at 3 years old in their heads.

*This post originally appeared on thebabyspot.ca.

The Mommy Life

Comments

  1. The smile never left my face reading this post. Utter Brilliance!!! To say I loved your post is a understatement. I think it is wonderful your outlook on this. Your son looks so happy and it shines through and makes me happy reading this and seeing him. Good on you, parents!!

    Thank you so much for linking up at #themommylife

    I will be following your blog, I loved it too much not too :)

    I would love if you took a look at my blog and possibly followed along too. Here is a post you may enjoy
    http://abigaildaybyday.blogspot.ca/2015/05/25-reasons-you-know-youre-parent.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. Susan, thanks for visiting and commenting! For us, its all about raising happy, well adjusted kids.

    I'll definitely visit and follow.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Is Mocking Redheads Bullying? If Not, What Is?

Its Super Bowl time, and since my team didn't make it, I haven't been paying very close attention.  But I got to talking with Aaron Gouveia on Twitter after I noticed one of his tweets about how a redhead would never QB a team to said Super Bowl.  Essentially, Aaron was mocking redheads.  My team doesn't have a redheaded QB, so we are safe (for now!), but I mentioned to him that this might fall under the term of bullying.  Aaron, in case you don't know, is rightfully well known in the Daddy-bloggersphere for his excellent  Daddy Files blog.  Seriously, go read it now,  and follow @DaddyFiles on Twitter.  And before I really get going on this rant, let me say: I get it.  Even as great as Gouveia is, he probably can't hold candle to the prestige, money and social status of a Pro-Bowl NFL player like Andy Dalton.  Andy Dalton could never do another thing in the NFL and probably still have more name recognition, money and power than Gouveia ever will.  This isn't e

My Kids Believe Some Wild Things

First off, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. It is the holiday season, so this is going to be a quick and fun post. If you want something more serious, you can look my struggles with my daughter's self esteem  here , my blah attitude about the death of cursive here , and why I'm a very bad person here . All kids believe in some clearly wild ideas. Santa. The tooth fairy. Heck, some parents believe vaccines cause disease, so its hard to blame the kids. But mine might be taking it to new levels. For instance, my one son will repeatedly tell me how I'm the best Dad he knows. Its sweet. And gosh, its hard to deny. But I'm also pretty much the only Dad he knows. I guess his other point of reference is the Dad from Peppa Pig. Have you seen that guy? He's a half shaven, rotound pig with the manners you might expect of such a guy. Its a bit surprising he isn't usually adorned with a can of beer in his hand and food stains on his clothing. This suddenly sounds li

Yesterday Was A No Good, Very Bad, Day

Yesterday was a no good, very bad, day. Not just yesterday, the last two or three days, really. I'm not even sure why. I am sure I have not been a good Dad or person these last few days. Maybe I'm not sleeping well - though I think I am. Maybe I'm not happy - though I think I am. Maybe I'm stressed out - though I have no reason to be. Heck, January was the best month for this blog by nearly any measure. The Robes broke up shortly after this show. Our piano player was moody. I've been short with the kids. Little things that  really should  roll off my shoulders have dug claws in me, edging me toward irritation. I've snapped. I've raised my voice. I've been very, very short. To the point my daughter has had to remind me to "take a deep breath, Daddy." A short aside: I'm so, so very proud of her for that. Because it really does defuse the situation; it really takes me out of the moment and allows me to reset. But when your 4-year-old