Skip to main content

Parenting As A Two-Edged Sword

A) The other day I took time out of my schedule to play dolls with my daughter.

B) The other day, I took time away from playing dolls with my daughter to cook dinner.

Which really happened? A, or B?

From a certain perspective, both are true. As Obi wan Kenobi warned:


What I told you was true… from a certain point of view

In the moment, I considered myself a heroic Dad. Here I was, valiantly cooking dinner for the kids and their Mom while also managing to get in some one-on-one time with one of the kids. And playing one of her favorite things, too boot. That is perspective A. 

But it occurred to me that from her perspective (B), what I was saying might not be true. 

Instead of a Dad demonstrating superpowers of multi-tasking, she might simply be seeing me as too busy to really give her my full attention. 

When I look back in 10 years I might well remember the hectic but great times when I played dolls with her while cooking.

And as a teen, she may well look back as at a Dad too consumed with doing other things to give her full attention. 

Does that make me a bad Dad? Is there anything I can do about it? To some extent, sure, I guess there is. I could make more time for her. Maybe plan better.

But to some extent there isn't. Because parenting is a two-edged sword where almost every decision subjects you to an alternative interpretation in which you are the bad guy.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Is Mocking Redheads Bullying? If Not, What Is?

Its Super Bowl time, and since my team didn't make it, I haven't been paying very close attention.  But I got to talking with Aaron Gouveia on Twitter after I noticed one of his tweets about how a redhead would never QB a team to said Super Bowl.  Essentially, Aaron was mocking redheads.  My team doesn't have a redheaded QB, so we are safe (for now!), but I mentioned to him that this might fall under the term of bullying.  Aaron, in case you don't know, is rightfully well known in the Daddy-bloggersphere for his excellent  Daddy Files blog.  Seriously, go read it now,  and follow @DaddyFiles on Twitter.  And before I really get going on this rant, let me say: I get it.  Even as great as Gouveia is, he probably can't hold candle to the prestige, money and social status of a Pro-Bowl NFL player like Andy Dalton.  Andy Dalton could never do another thing in the NFL and probably still have more name recognition, money and power than Gouveia ever will.  This isn't e

My Kids Believe Some Wild Things

First off, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. It is the holiday season, so this is going to be a quick and fun post. If you want something more serious, you can look my struggles with my daughter's self esteem  here , my blah attitude about the death of cursive here , and why I'm a very bad person here . All kids believe in some clearly wild ideas. Santa. The tooth fairy. Heck, some parents believe vaccines cause disease, so its hard to blame the kids. But mine might be taking it to new levels. For instance, my one son will repeatedly tell me how I'm the best Dad he knows. Its sweet. And gosh, its hard to deny. But I'm also pretty much the only Dad he knows. I guess his other point of reference is the Dad from Peppa Pig. Have you seen that guy? He's a half shaven, rotound pig with the manners you might expect of such a guy. Its a bit surprising he isn't usually adorned with a can of beer in his hand and food stains on his clothing. This suddenly sounds li

NIGHTMARE: Three Kids; One Invite

Its a triplet parents worst nightmare, really. I only have triplets, so most of what I;m about to say about singletons is conjecture and assumption, but here goes: I imagine that when you have three kids of different ages its easy when only one of them is invited to a birthday party. Any younger child is probably interested in where an older sibling is going, but is easily refocused. Older children probably just don't care what a younger child is doing, but to the extent they are invested, I'd think its easy to explain to them. After all, they are probably in different schools, or at least different grades. They have different teachers, different classmates, and while they may share some friends, those are largely different as well. Not so with triplets When you have three kids all the same age they attend the same  school; often in the same class (as ours do). So when only one of them receives an invite, as our daughter did, its hard not  to feel slighted. After all, t