Skip to main content

Daddy Monster, No Good At Teaching

Let me kick this off by saying my kids are normal, well adjusted children who are awesome as well as being great learners. They are some of the most polite kids you will ever meet.

Literally, people come up to us on almost every adventure out and compliment us on how well behaved our children are. Honestly, I think some of it is lowered expectations. I think most of them just expect triplets to behave like little monsters running around tasting other people's food at eateries and wildly running down the aisles of grocery stores knocking stuff off the shelves. So when ours behave like perfect little people, they are shocked. It is a point of pride among my wife and I.

But sometimes, you can't win for trying.

For instance. Each of our kids are a Kindle Fire they can play on (before you go to comment about screen time, they use them during "quiet time"). They are magicians on them. They teach themselves how to play games; they research new games; they have learned how to find the videos they want to watch on YouTube. Its amazing, really, how quickly they pick up all this stuff. I swear sometimes I could give them a motor and in an hour they could break it down and explain  to me how it works.

Their minds really are sponges that just absorb and absorb. Sort like these Sham Wow towels.

So why is it that they can't (won't?) say "please" when they need something? Despite my daily lessons and constant harping on it.


And take this example: My kids and I play this game where I, the Daddy Monster, chase them and when I catch them, I  throw them in the Bum Cake.  The game consists of them running from our bedroom to theirs and back, and then me throwing them on our bed, which is the Bum Cake. Through out the game there have been various "safes."  The beds are the latest, but my wife has been one, Grandmom has been one, etc.

The game is all good fun and gives them a good 10 or 15 minutes to run out that last bit of energy before the real bed time routine gets underway.

In a fit of "if its not broke, fix it," I tried to inject a little learning into the game.  As I said, the game consists of chasing and "safes."  For some reason, I thought it might be cool if the new "safe" was that the kids had to say the number that came after the number Daddy Monster yelled out.

Daddy Monster: "Three"
Triplet: "Four"
Daddy Monster: "You safe."

That type of thing.

Now, you may already see where this going, but I did not.  Though in hindsight it seems pretty obvious: the kids all thought saying the wrong number was where the fun was at.

I'm now actively making my kids less smart.

Sometimes I think I could home school our kids. Some times I am an idiot.


Popular posts from this blog

Parenting As A Two-Edged Sword

A) The other day I took time out of my schedule to play dolls with my daughter.

B) The other day, I took time away from playing dolls with my daughter to cook dinner.

Which really happened? A, or B?

From a certain perspective, both are true. As Obi wan Kenobi warned:

What I told you was true… from a certain point of view
In the moment, I considered myself a heroic Dad. Here I was, valiantly cooking dinner for the kids and their Mom while also managing to get in some one-on-one time with one of the kids. And playing one of her favorite things, too boot. That is perspective A. 
But it occurred to me that from her perspective (B), what I was saying might not be true. 
Instead of a Dad demonstrating superpowers of multi-tasking, she might simply be seeing me as too busy to really give her my full attention. 
When I look back in 10 years I might well remember the hectic but great times when I played dolls with her while cooking.
And as a teen, she may well look back as at a Dad too consumed with…

I Really Should...

... write an ode to Yunnan jig tea. It's great, honestly.  Smooth and delightful with just the right amount of punchy flavor.  Not coffee, but nicely caffeinated.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, find some loose leaf Yunnan jig and brew away.  May I suggest something from

... creatively write more.  I have a few story ideas.  At least 3, including the one I've already written and desperately need to edit and round out.  But its such a ... chore.  I really like reading, and I don't mind writing.  I actually enjoy writing one-off stuff like I do here.  But putting together 75k-100k in a complete order that makes sense and completes a story arc?  Ugh. Its all ... so much.  Blame my years in journalism, where I write tons of one-off stuff where the narrative is kind of half written for

(Speaking of this blog and writing)

... post more here.  As with all things, I guess, time is hard to find, whilst being a poor excuse.

... think before I agree…

The Dark Months

The holidays are over.  It only seems like life is over.

There is a solid three month period where holidays of various degrees are hitting you one-two-three style.  You have Halloween, which takes some of the sting out of the cooling temperatures and the disappearance of summer.  You have Thanksgiving, with rare foods and the promise of Christmas. 

Then you have a month of prepping and joy for Christmas.  You are so busy, you hardly notice how cold it has gotten.  And this year it got pretty darn cold.  And then Christmas itself.  My wife and I take a week off between Christmas and New Years, so we have that. 

Its a period so full of life.  And then the aforementioned NYE - when the cold decided to take it up a notch.

With triplets, its a little like being shot out of a cannon and taking three months to land.

But when you land, you land firmly in what I call the Dark Months.

There are no more holidays.  Yes, I realize MLK and Presidents Day are in January and February, and yes, I know…