Thursday, September 1, 2016

Daddy Monster, No Good At Teaching

Let me kick this off by saying my kids are normal, well adjusted children who are awesome as well as being great learners. They are some of the most polite kids you will ever meet.

Literally, people come up to us on almost every adventure out and compliment us on how well behaved our children are. Honestly, I think some of it is lowered expectations. I think most of them just expect triplets to behave like little monsters running around tasting other people's food at eateries and wildly running down the aisles of grocery stores knocking stuff off the shelves. So when ours behave like perfect little people, they are shocked. It is a point of pride among my wife and I.

But sometimes, you can't win for trying.

For instance. Each of our kids are a Kindle Fire they can play on (before you go to comment about screen time, they use them during "quiet time"). They are magicians on them. They teach themselves how to play games; they research new games; they have learned how to find the videos they want to watch on YouTube. Its amazing, really, how quickly they pick up all this stuff. I swear sometimes I could give them a motor and in an hour they could break it down and explain  to me how it works.

Their minds really are sponges that just absorb and absorb. Sort like these Sham Wow towels.

So why is it that they can't (won't?) say "please" when they need something? Despite my daily lessons and constant harping on it.

WHY?

And take this example: My kids and I play this game where I, the Daddy Monster, chase them and when I catch them, I  throw them in the Bum Cake.  The game consists of them running from our bedroom to theirs and back, and then me throwing them on our bed, which is the Bum Cake. Through out the game there have been various "safes."  The beds are the latest, but my wife has been one, Grandmom has been one, etc.

The game is all good fun and gives them a good 10 or 15 minutes to run out that last bit of energy before the real bed time routine gets underway.

In a fit of "if its not broke, fix it," I tried to inject a little learning into the game.  As I said, the game consists of chasing and "safes."  For some reason, I thought it might be cool if the new "safe" was that the kids had to say the number that came after the number Daddy Monster yelled out.

Daddy Monster: "Three"
Triplet: "Four"
Daddy Monster: "You safe."

That type of thing.

Now, you may already see where this going, but I did not.  Though in hindsight it seems pretty obvious: the kids all thought saying the wrong number was where the fun was at.

I'm now actively making my kids less smart.

Sometimes I think I could home school our kids. Some times I am an idiot.

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