All kids believe in some clearly wild ideas. Santa. The tooth fairy. Heck, some parents believe vaccines cause disease, so its hard to blame the kids.
But mine might be taking it to new levels.
For instance, my one son will repeatedly tell me how I'm the best Dad he knows. Its sweet. And gosh, its hard to deny. But I'm also pretty much the only Dad he knows. I guess his other point of reference is the Dad from Peppa Pig. Have you seen that guy? He's a half shaven, rotound pig with the manners you might expect of such a guy. Its a bit surprising he isn't usually adorned with a can of beer in his hand and food stains on his clothing. This suddenly sounds like damning me with faint praise.
My son thinks Cheetos dipped in 100% pumpkin tastes like strawberries. Cheetos. Dipped. In. Pumpkin. At his insistence, I tried this concoction. All I can say is that if I hadn't seen him eating strawberries, I would wonder if he had any idea what strawberries are. An alien who has never tasted strawberries couldn't come up with a less accurate description than Cheetos dipped in pumpkin. Cheetos. Dipped. In. Pumpkin.
For this next story, you have to know I'm bald. Early on, I convinced the kids they had taken my hair. As in, they would grab at my head and "hide" my hair behind their back. Did they really believe they took my hair? They were young - probably 2ish - so who knows. They seemed convinced.
In between performing ballet moves she doesn't actually know, my daughter exclaimed today that I don't have any hair, and that I am a Daddy desert.
Whatever that means.