Skip to main content

This Deal Is Getting Worse All The time!

Parenting is a grand bargain.

As the title alludes, its along the lines of the one between Darth Vader and Lando Callrissan in Star Wars. Parents would like to think they play the Darth Vader role, but in reality, its the role of Lando.

I know I know: Vader means father and the entire series is a father-son drama. But think about the similarities between the parent-child and Vader-Lando relationship.

In the movie, Lando provides Vader a place to secretly house troops while laying his trap. In return, Lando receives, well, some semblance of freedom and power from the deal, I suppose.

The bargain between parents and kids offers little meaningful differences. In exchange for security and food, kids generally promise to follow the rules. The big secret here is that the law requires you to provide at least base amounts of security and food. Just like Lando, you have certain rules you already have to follow to varying degrees.

Vader suffers no such restriction. And your children? They entered into this bargain, just as Vader did with Lando, but there are no rules requiring them to listen to you, just as there was nothing requiring Vader to comply with Lando's request.

This leads to the second big secret: the kids follow along with this deal only on their own terms, really. Just as Vader could change his arrangements with Lando. Kids could at any time just stop listening to their parents at any time. This usually happens in the teen years, I imagine, but there is literally nothing to stop a four year old from simply not following commands other than them being really, really small and the way their brains are wired.

I've been thinking about this over the four months or so since my kids turned four and Vader'd our deal. At times they have been simply unmanageable. One simply isn't impressed with anything I do, regardless of its outcome for him. Another simply won't stop whining.

It wasn't just that they were no longer paying attention. The third told me he would cut me with a knife and later jumped out of a time-out seat to hit me. That rises to a Luke revealing his true powers to Jabba leve of attack.

Did I just compare myself to Jabba the Hut? Yeah, I guess I did.

The kids were definitely more fun during this time. They play actual games now. We do fun things both indoors and out. Heck, we have impromptu baseball games in the driveway. But the bargain had been broken.

I wish I could tell you I was leading you to some grand conclusion where I would reveal the secret to remaking the bargain.

The truth is I was as powerless as Lando to make any changes. The kids hold all the power. If they want to stop listening, there isn't much we parents can do about it. We simply kept at it; giving timeouts and taking away things they held dear. Destroying the death star, if you will.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Yesterday Was A No Good, Very Bad, Day

Yesterday was a no good, very bad, day. Not just yesterday, the last two or three days, really. I'm not even sure why. I am sure I have not been a good Dad or person these last few days. Maybe I'm not sleeping well - though I think I am. Maybe I'm not happy - though I think I am. Maybe I'm stressed out - though I have no reason to be. Heck, January was the best month for this blog by nearly any measure. The Robes broke up shortly after this show. Our piano player was moody. I've been short with the kids. Little things that  really should  roll off my shoulders have dug claws in me, edging me toward irritation. I've snapped. I've raised my voice. I've been very, very short. To the point my daughter has had to remind me to "take a deep breath, Daddy." A short aside: I'm so, so very proud of her for that. Because it really does defuse the situation; it really takes me out of the moment and allows me to reset. But when your 4-year-old ...

How Can I Be A Better Parent?

My last few posts have been pretty down beat. There is the one about how I yell at my kids too much ; and don’t forget the one where I compare my kids to Darth Vader . So its been a rough couple of weeks. But each of these posts has had a single uniting theme underpinning it: I think every single time I butt heads with my kids comes down to my own flaws. There. I said it. When my kids are playing right up to and past their bedtime and I can’t wrangle them into bed; when they won’t get their shoes on to leave the house to buy THEIR snack ; when they want more snack than common decency dictates; when they want more TV time or tablet time; the times when they ask the most inane questions, or when they won’t get their own underwear despite standing right next to the drawer. Well, OK, maybe that last one isn’t on me. But the rest? If it isn’t time travel , I think they are all on me. When they play past bedtime its mostly a failure to leave enough time. Indeed, I’ve ...

My Kids Believe Some Wild Things

First off, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. It is the holiday season, so this is going to be a quick and fun post. If you want something more serious, you can look my struggles with my daughter's self esteem  here , my blah attitude about the death of cursive here , and why I'm a very bad person here . All kids believe in some clearly wild ideas. Santa. The tooth fairy. Heck, some parents believe vaccines cause disease, so its hard to blame the kids. But mine might be taking it to new levels. For instance, my one son will repeatedly tell me how I'm the best Dad he knows. Its sweet. And gosh, its hard to deny. But I'm also pretty much the only Dad he knows. I guess his other point of reference is the Dad from Peppa Pig. Have you seen that guy? He's a half shaven, rotound pig with the manners you might expect of such a guy. Its a bit surprising he isn't usually adorned with a can of beer in his hand and food stains on his clothing. This suddenly sounds li...