Thursday, February 12, 2015

Sometimes Parents Will Fail, And That Is OK

I talk to my kids a lot - a LOT - about taking deep breathes and the need to relax.  I do this mainly when they are frustrated with my wife and I or when one of the other kids take their toys or when, you know, the apple isn't perfectly apple-shaped.  But they also see me doing stretches and Yoga type stuff and taking deep breaths myself.

But sometimes my emotions get the best of me.  I had one of those types of days this week.  One of the days where despite all my adultness, the pressures of life and child-rearing get the best of me.  And sometimes, my adult knowledge will lead me to see things in a different light than you see it.  Sometimes, I'm sad to say, kids, I'm going to fail.

You will fall, as one of you did recently, for no obvious reasons in that funny way that you sometimes do.  It will be a short, soft fall and I'll know you are OK because I saw the fall.  All my training in falls and physics will tell me you are OK.

I'll laugh, and you'll reproach me with tears in your eyes, saying "Daddy, its not funny!"

In my own mind, I'll frame this as a sorta, kinda good thing.  You'll see me fail, and you'll see me apologize for my failures.  And I'll hope that you'll see that I recognized my failure and apologized for it.  Maybe you will take away an important lesson in recognizing and accepting failures and apologizing.

But in reality, I'll be battering myself inside, worried that you are taking all the wrong lessons away from my behavior.  And I'll be disappointed in myself for not realizing how scary that fall might have been to you and sad for not being more empathetic.


2 comments:

  1. I totally get this. As parents we do all fail at something, probably almost every day. We will laugh at the most inopportune moment, not know that the mass of scribbling on the paper is your child's story about zoo animals. The list goes on! Luckily children forgive us our misdemeanors quite quickly though :)
    Thanks for linking up again with #MultipleMadness

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  2. Yep, failing is part and parcel to the job and I don't think we always remember that.

    Thanks for commenting, Katie.

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