Skip to main content

The Least Helpful Advice: College edition

College tuition is in the news a lot lately and I've had some college-related stuff at work lately.  And then I wrote my last post about the least helpful advice I received as a teen and it got me thinking. 

There is a variant of this least helpful advice that also rears its head in high school.  It comes when guidance counselors are doing their thing regarding college choices and careers.  Now, I’m a pretty well rounded, “jack of all trades, master of none" type fellow.  That isn’t bragging.  I’ve often longed to have some overwhelming natural talent to direct me.  And as a result of what boils down to “be yourself” when choosing a college or career, this lack of direction gave me fits.

I’m 37, and have had what amounts to 3 careers.  I'm pondering a fourth.  And that isn't because I'm the untethered, wandering type; if anything, I'm the exact opposite.  Nor have the career changes come as a result of job losses.  All of the careers were tangential to each other and I've had access because I have lots of interests and a bevy of skills that make me passable in lots of different occupations.

But the down side to that is this: How, in high school, was I supposed to decide what career I might enjoy when I’m still sorting that out 17 years later?  And how do we expect any person to make an informed decision about a college?  We put so much pressure on choosing a college.  I remember the pressure acutely.  The pressure to choose a school you’ll enjoy; a quality school; a school with your major.

Having been to college, I ask this: how can we expect a high school student to make an educated decision about something about which they have absolutely no foundation to make?  It would be like asking you to pick where under the ocean you’d like to live.  Sure, you could make some fantasy guess - the shallow waters are nice what with their coral reefs, but then again, the trenches provide such unexplored depths - but that is exactly what it would be: a fantasy-based guess.  

So why are we putting so much pressure on this decision?  Shouldn’t we just tell the truth: that you should probably just pick a school whose campus you feel comfortable with and you can always transfer later.  Wouldn’t this make more sense then imposing a “choose or die” atmosphere that forces kids to feel like they have to drop out of school if they hate their choice?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

NIGHTMARE: Three Kids; One Invite

Its a triplet parents worst nightmare, really. I only have triplets, so most of what I;m about to say about singletons is conjecture and assumption, but here goes: I imagine that when you have three kids of different ages its easy when only one of them is invited to a birthday party. Any younger child is probably interested in where an older sibling is going, but is easily refocused. Older children probably just don't care what a younger child is doing, but to the extent they are invested, I'd think its easy to explain to them. After all, they are probably in different schools, or at least different grades. They have different teachers, different classmates, and while they may share some friends, those are largely different as well. Not so with triplets When you have three kids all the same age they attend the same  school; often in the same class (as ours do). So when only one of them receives an invite, as our daughter did, its hard not  to feel slighted. After all, ...

Thoughts On Breastfeeding

I was going to post in this space about breastfeeding eventually.  It started when I joined Twitter recently as @triplethedad (follow me!) and started following a bunch of Mom and Dad types.  Although I previously experienced the ferver of the breastfeeding crowd, I was still taken aback by the militartism of some of them and the "us against them" attitude. I knew I would have to address it at some point, but honestly, as a Dad to formula fed triplets, I don't have a lot of experience or knowledge.  And further, while I'm not 100% comfortable around breastfeeding women, I have no problem with them/it and realize what they are doing is totally and completely natural.  So, between the lack of deep understanding and acceptance, I wasn't sure where to start.  What I did know was that I wanted to address the unnecassary ferver around the topic and the seeming war between formula and breast. Luckily, Jamie Lynn of Iamnotthebabysitter.com beat me to it in a post o...

Good parenting /= Stressed parenting

Just more evidence that taking a breather and giving your kids a little room to play on their own is good advice:   A new study suggests stressed parents result in obese kids. Why?  Well, the study suggests stressed out parents frequent fast-food joints more and are less inclined to plan organized meals.  Which makes sense.  Its hard to make food to feed two or three kids when you are busy ferrying them each to 3 sports or activities. What can you do to stop the stress?  Stop trying to make your child the next Einstein or LeBron James.  Yes, you want to provide every opportunity available, but your child's genes set in concrete when sperm met egg.  No amount of after-school activities will make a child with a 95 IQ the next Stephen Hawking nor your short, slow child an NFL wide receiver.  Relax and enjoy who your child is, rather than worrying about what they will become.  Ninety five percent of your role in who your chi...