Skip to main content

On Boston

This is a bit late the party, but I thought it worthwhile.  In all the sadness I think there are a few things worth taking away.

First is that many of the initial reports will be wrong.  There was no bombing at the library.  These initial reports serve only to increase fear and the feeling that the world is "out of control," when in reality is the attack is smaller than we think.

Secondly, you shouldn't panic.  While this should seem obvious, what we end up with in reality is Good Men Project's Joanna Shroeder  talking about an "out-of-control world." While I don't always agree with everything posted on Good Men Project, its generally a levelheaded publication.

They should know better.

During a time of fear and heightened sensitivities this kind of "out-of-control" talk only agitates the situation and is in no way helpful.  The reality is that, no, the world is not "out of control."  A small percentage of a very large population doing very bad things does not make the world "out of control."  While the bombings in Boston are horrifying, your child is just as safe as before they occurred.  These types of things are, thankfully, rare.

This "world out of control" narrative only feeds the perpetrator and makes the person feel more important.  If bombings were met with no panic and the news merely reported it  without the added breathlessness, the perpetrators would loose much of their motivation.

And not to scare the bejesus out of you, but probably 100 regular, daily substances and activities pose a bigger risk to your child than something like Boston.  Driving in a car, for instance.  Allergic reactions, probably.  Falls, almost certainly.

Further refuting the "out of control" picture is the pure numbers.  Look at the emerging coverage and the pictures from the scene.  Yes, one crazed person set off a bomb and managed to kill three individuals and harm many others.  But contrast that one person against the tens or hundreds of runners and onlookers  who helped the injured.  The entire city of Boston essentially opened their doors to the injured, homeless and scared.  People lent other people their cellphones so they could check in with family.  After running 26 miles, runners kept going, heading to hospitals to donate blood - so much blood the Red Cross asked people to stop donating.

And this isn't unusual.  Sociologists now know that rather than panicked mayhem featuring rape and pillaging, those nearest to the disaster tend to bond together.  The reports of horrors in New Orleans after the flooding were reporters' conformation bias.  They expected mayhem, and reported unconfirmed reports of it as truth.  They were incorrect.

That isn't a world "out of control."  That is one person out of a billion out of control; that is a world I don't mind living in.  And its a world I don't mind sharing with my child and exposing them to.  If you want to see a world "out of control," a world where child predators lurk behind every corner and danger is only a step away, fine by me.  But while you are creating this narrative with the end goal of keeping your child safe, think about what it is doing to your child in the meantime.

As Patton Oswald said, the good outnumber the bad, and we always will.  Until we don't any longer, lets refrain from pretending the world is "out of control."

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Kids Believe Some Wild Things

First off, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. It is the holiday season, so this is going to be a quick and fun post. If you want something more serious, you can look my struggles with my daughter's self esteem  here , my blah attitude about the death of cursive here , and why I'm a very bad person here . All kids believe in some clearly wild ideas. Santa. The tooth fairy. Heck, some parents believe vaccines cause disease, so its hard to blame the kids. But mine might be taking it to new levels. For instance, my one son will repeatedly tell me how I'm the best Dad he knows. Its sweet. And gosh, its hard to deny. But I'm also pretty much the only Dad he knows. I guess his other point of reference is the Dad from Peppa Pig. Have you seen that guy? He's a half shaven, rotound pig with the manners you might expect of such a guy. Its a bit surprising he isn't usually adorned with a can of beer in his hand and food stains on his clothing. This suddenly sounds li...

NIGHTMARE: Three Kids; One Invite

Its a triplet parents worst nightmare, really. I only have triplets, so most of what I;m about to say about singletons is conjecture and assumption, but here goes: I imagine that when you have three kids of different ages its easy when only one of them is invited to a birthday party. Any younger child is probably interested in where an older sibling is going, but is easily refocused. Older children probably just don't care what a younger child is doing, but to the extent they are invested, I'd think its easy to explain to them. After all, they are probably in different schools, or at least different grades. They have different teachers, different classmates, and while they may share some friends, those are largely different as well. Not so with triplets When you have three kids all the same age they attend the same  school; often in the same class (as ours do). So when only one of them receives an invite, as our daughter did, its hard not  to feel slighted. After all, ...

Yesterday Was A No Good, Very Bad, Day

Yesterday was a no good, very bad, day. Not just yesterday, the last two or three days, really. I'm not even sure why. I am sure I have not been a good Dad or person these last few days. Maybe I'm not sleeping well - though I think I am. Maybe I'm not happy - though I think I am. Maybe I'm stressed out - though I have no reason to be. Heck, January was the best month for this blog by nearly any measure. The Robes broke up shortly after this show. Our piano player was moody. I've been short with the kids. Little things that  really should  roll off my shoulders have dug claws in me, edging me toward irritation. I've snapped. I've raised my voice. I've been very, very short. To the point my daughter has had to remind me to "take a deep breath, Daddy." A short aside: I'm so, so very proud of her for that. Because it really does defuse the situation; it really takes me out of the moment and allows me to reset. But when your 4-year-old ...