Skip to main content

Super Cool Blue Parents

Last week I talked about how incredibly easy it is to be a good parent.

It really takes almost no work.  As an expert quoted in this WebMD article notes, “what mattered to babies a thousand years ago is still what matters today:  You, the parent, are your baby’s best learning tool.” 

Uhu and Uh, Green Parents
Minus smoke-induced deaths, Uhu was a great Mom.
Parenting: The Ug-Uhu-Acho Story
For literally hundreds of years parents had no real guidance on developmental markers and strategies. Sure, they received plenty of input from in-laws; you have in-laws, right?

And yet children kept getting smarter and making scientific discoveries.  It isn’t like the Uhu, the Mom whose kid discovered fire, checked with some stone-based Dr. Sears predecessor.  I suppose if she had she would have immediately look over at her heavily bearded husband Ug, who was undoubtedly playing with his Apple iCore and ignoring the kids, and say, “Ug!  Acho should play Fire now.  Go get Acho fire for play.”

[Note: Depending on the age of Acho in this story, Ahu probably just doomed him to smoke-inhalation death.  Keep that in mind.]

So that is the bar - if you mimic or exceed the parenting of someone constantly on starvation’s doorstep and in fear of being eaten by a bear, you probably exceed it.  

5 Things
How low is the bar?  Perhaps the most five most important things to your baby’s future are things that take almost no work: 1) talk to your baby; 2) play with your baby; 3) pay attention to its interests; 4) use those interests to foster curiosity; 5) simply love and nurture your baby.

This last is, I think, especially important.  Creating a loving and safe environment allows your child to be curious and explore without fearing the loss of love or environment.

So, its easy to get into that green area in the chart, but you don’t want just an average child.  And anyhow, you want to be the kind of overachieving Super Mom you know you can be.  So how do you get to be “Super Cool Blue” parent? 

Super Cool Blue
Truth is, I just don’t know.  I’m certainly not one of them.  But I know that it is exceedingly hard and likely not worth effort for the small return.  Sure, being a “Super Cool Blue” parent might add some small percentage of advantage to your child.  But in a world where W work produces a perfectly good child (C), why would you want to do 100W in order to produce a child who was 1.03C?

I suppose stay-at-home parents probably have some small step in that direction.  Money probably helps, mostly because it alleviates worries and tends to lead to more secure situations.  But that cuts both ways, because money can ruin a kid as well.  Family certainly helps, except where it doesn't.  I’m a huge supporter of the ways technology makes our lives better, but I’m not convinced one single technology-based toy helps a lick.

In short, you could make your kids 3% better by hitting 100 of 100 constantly moving targets, but why would you when you can do just fine hitting 50 of the targets?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Yesterday Was A No Good, Very Bad, Day

Yesterday was a no good, very bad, day. Not just yesterday, the last two or three days, really. I'm not even sure why. I am sure I have not been a good Dad or person these last few days. Maybe I'm not sleeping well - though I think I am. Maybe I'm not happy - though I think I am. Maybe I'm stressed out - though I have no reason to be. Heck, January was the best month for this blog by nearly any measure. The Robes broke up shortly after this show. Our piano player was moody. I've been short with the kids. Little things that  really should  roll off my shoulders have dug claws in me, edging me toward irritation. I've snapped. I've raised my voice. I've been very, very short. To the point my daughter has had to remind me to "take a deep breath, Daddy." A short aside: I'm so, so very proud of her for that. Because it really does defuse the situation; it really takes me out of the moment and allows me to reset. But when your 4-year-old ...

How Can I Be A Better Parent?

My last few posts have been pretty down beat. There is the one about how I yell at my kids too much ; and don’t forget the one where I compare my kids to Darth Vader . So its been a rough couple of weeks. But each of these posts has had a single uniting theme underpinning it: I think every single time I butt heads with my kids comes down to my own flaws. There. I said it. When my kids are playing right up to and past their bedtime and I can’t wrangle them into bed; when they won’t get their shoes on to leave the house to buy THEIR snack ; when they want more snack than common decency dictates; when they want more TV time or tablet time; the times when they ask the most inane questions, or when they won’t get their own underwear despite standing right next to the drawer. Well, OK, maybe that last one isn’t on me. But the rest? If it isn’t time travel , I think they are all on me. When they play past bedtime its mostly a failure to leave enough time. Indeed, I’ve ...

My Kids Believe Some Wild Things

First off, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. It is the holiday season, so this is going to be a quick and fun post. If you want something more serious, you can look my struggles with my daughter's self esteem  here , my blah attitude about the death of cursive here , and why I'm a very bad person here . All kids believe in some clearly wild ideas. Santa. The tooth fairy. Heck, some parents believe vaccines cause disease, so its hard to blame the kids. But mine might be taking it to new levels. For instance, my one son will repeatedly tell me how I'm the best Dad he knows. Its sweet. And gosh, its hard to deny. But I'm also pretty much the only Dad he knows. I guess his other point of reference is the Dad from Peppa Pig. Have you seen that guy? He's a half shaven, rotound pig with the manners you might expect of such a guy. Its a bit surprising he isn't usually adorned with a can of beer in his hand and food stains on his clothing. This suddenly sounds li...