Triple The Dad

Parents of all stripes, but new parents especially, are prone to worry. And why not? The early months of parenting are unlike anything you've encountered before. You are bone tired and lost at sea, having never been too sea before and without any way of knowing where you are, or even if you are on Earth. Many parents react to this situation by promptly taking out an auger and drilling a hole right through the bottom of their boat. The question is - right after "hey, where did they get that auger?" - why? Why do parents make it harder than it has to be. For one thing, if your kid does it, its probably normal. Like 99.9% probably normal. You see parents in advice columns and busily pounding away questions at Google like... My kid does X, is it normal? In fact, the first five Google suggestions for "my kid does..." are: 1) doesn't want to go to college 2) doesn't sleep 3) doesn't listen 4) doesn't play sports 5) doesn't eat ...

I'm just going to say it: The five-second rule is real. We (or at least I) practice it in our household. Now, I realize that once food touches the floor, even for a second, it has probably 99% of the germs it would have if it was left there for a full minute. I'm not so naive to think that picking food up off the floor within some five-second time frame magically keeps germs away. Instead, I use it as a guideline of sorts for my kids. Kids are devilish little things. They have lots of questions. How come we can say "yellow dye" but not "you die"? How come we can eat candy after dinner but not for breakfast? How come we can eat some  food off the floor, but not other food. Well, I'm here to tell you the answer is the five-second rule. Again, its not a germ prevention thing. Lots of times I use this as a short hand. If an uncooked noodle falls on the floor and its there less than 5 second, I'm putting it in the pot for boiling. Hey, its getting...